I unexpectedly felt productive this weekend. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I came upon a farm stand and I went right to work. I harvested corn (stacked it hight on my back) which I quickly fed to the chickens. The chickens promptly began laying eggs, which I collected and boxed for the long line of waiting customers. In spite of the clearly laid out blinking arrows directing me to each task, I soon fell behind trying to keep up with the harvesting, egg collecting and packaging and sales. Fortunately, the customers were all paying cash and within minutes I had several large green stacks. I used these to hire workers and soon I had a tractor and a driver. Every so often, my productivity was disrupted by my Norwegian language lessons, but I was soon back at the farm stand, which continued to grow and grow until was selling not just eggs but also produce and milk and had multiple stands and employees. “Productive” is an understatement!
Of course, the key word (to me anyway) is feel. When do you feel productive? This “productivity” was all in an advertisement between lessons on the free language learning app that I tried to dig into this weekend. I was surprised by how quickly and thoroughly I got roped into this game that popped up on my screen each time I finished another level of the owlish app. I shouldn’t have been. Of course these apps tap right into the ways our brains crave feeling productive. The labor was decidedly easy (it was just a matter of dragging your finger across the screen, after all) especially when compared to the real backbreaking and dangerous work of actual farming. No bird flu around these pixels! And the stacks of money piled up with barely any effort at all — to the point that there was money that had fallen to the ground on the way to various tasks. And the game grew quickly enough to keep me curious about what would happen next. Gee: farming is so easy! Even an urban denizen like me can quickly become a land baron.
I had to consciously make the decision that I wasn’t going to pick up my phone again. I’d figure out another way to learn Norwegian.
Now. Paradoxically, the time that I am actually most productive is when I am lying on the couch doing nothing. Rest does not need to be earned. It is a right. And every time I rest and let my mind wander and imagine, I am taking care of myself. Every time I tune into my breath and my body, I am listening to my most basic elemental needs. This is the most productive I cannot just feel, but actually be.
Rhena Writes 